Wrecked.

Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes a lot of things are funny because we think they’re about us; ourselves. Me and mostly me and hardly ever you because you’re not me.

I wanted just one weekend. One weekend to get away and trek a little bit across the map to see some friends I haven’t seen in a while. Yearning for encouragement while rejecting it from my favorite book with the best red letters. So I grab my friend along the road and we head to Nashville, Tennessee. While there was never a lull in the conversation, we jumped from topic to topic, on our 9-hour drive. Maddy had asked me what God had been teaching me lately and I told her I didn’t really have an answer. And the reason for that was while I was admitting that I wasn’t seeking the Lord, I wasn’t doing anything about it, either. She responded in almost the same way, but we went along the road, still thanking Yahweh anyway. I mean it really is true that He grows us, even when we don’t want Him too. Let me just tell you how far He stretched us, though. What 48 hours, two high school girls, and broken metal taught us.

We weren’t far from meeting some friends in downtown Nashville when it started to rain a little. Maddy and I just took this opportunity to roll down the windows, blast some Josh Garrels, and I even grabbed my djembe from the back and we were indescribably happy in that moment. Maddy even said, “Kels…I would be completely okay if God took us right now.” I mean that’s how content and full we were. The song ended, and I threw my trusty drum in the back and put my seat belt back on. Some rain got under our wheels a bit so we slowed down and rolled the windows up as it started to rain even harder. About 10 minutes outside of Nashville, I felt our car slide, only this time it didn’t catch itself and we proceeded to smash head-on into the cement median wall. We then swung around so that the back of our car also smashed into the cement wall and flung us across the 4 lane highway and ended up crashing face first, again, into a brick wall on the opposite side of the highway.

People often say that in near death experiences your life flashes before your eyes…but it really doesn’t. I somehow think you develop a peace, though. After we hit the first wall, I just knew it was it for us. I braced myself and prepared to meet my Maker, I mean I really did. But once our car stopped, and the airbags deployed, my body stiffened. I realized that Maddy and I were both alive, which meant that somehow within all of this, God still needed us and all our broken pieces.

Yes, my car is broken. More than broken really, it’s currently being impounded at a huge dump…and yes my finger’s the size of a bowling ball…but broken bones and cars are only just stepping stones to the bigger picture, here. I read in a book the other day that, “God uses broken people because there’s more for Him to work with” and I still believe that’s true.

Instead of going to Athens Georgia this weekend, we spent it stuck in Nashville with my friends Kelsi and Caroline, who are two of the most amazing 17 years olds you will probably ever meet in your lives. They picked us up from the hospital, fed us, clothed us (literally because all of our stuff was trapped in my car), and loved us outrageously. I mean literally loved us potentially more than anyone else ever could. Maddy didn’t know these dear friends of mine at first, but after just 2 days, we all felt like we’d known each other forever. We realized that all we needed that week was each other. Strangers becoming sisters, and high schoolers teaching us college bums what it’s like to really follow Jesus. And I’m glad we wrecked. Because I’m stubborn, and sometimes God has to use only the big stuff to make me see why I’m really here. I’m here for Maddy, and Kelsi, and Caroline. I’m here to snuggle up and watch movies with hearts that are heavy…I’m here to eat avocado popsicles, or make fun of people who do. I’m here to just love. And there’s all the roots you need.